It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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