I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
