Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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