You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
