It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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