Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
