Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
