Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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