ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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