Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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