I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
