So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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