I just made out with a guy for $7.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
