Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
