I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
