tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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