I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
