I hate all girls vehemently.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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