All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
