I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
