The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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