just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is wine microwaveable?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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