fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
