actually, I'm a sock model
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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