I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
