Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
