you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
