thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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