And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
