I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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