Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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