i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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