he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize