and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
