just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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