I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Panties = found
Randomize
