so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
