ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
