Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
