someone threw a dead crab at me
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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