i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
