so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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