I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
