I can't breathe out the right side of my face
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
