whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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