Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
