If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
