I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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