It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
