Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
