Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
