We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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