yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
