This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
