Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want to be your penis for a week.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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