What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Holy sore nipples Batman
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
