Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
