Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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