bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize